In eighteen years of driving, I have had accident twice. The first one I was distracted and hit a vehicle in front from the rear. Nobody was injured but the car was fairly damaged. The second accident was more traumatic. It involved myself and a motorcyclist. The man was trying to make a u-turn in a slope and I was driving down the slope. The unexpected happened, I hit him. I shouldn’t have because my vehicle has break now, but it happened. The motorcycle caught fire and the man’s leg shredded into pieces. It was only thin layer of flesh that held the leg together. Prior to that, a bike rider had ‘driven roughly’ for me and with it, insulted me and I couldn’t reply him because I am a child of God but I was hurt. His words hunted me. All along I was thinking about what I did wrong that warranted such insult from a bike man. So while driving, my mind was drifting to those words until I got that point where the accident happened. I allowed someone to vent his frustrations on me and I internalized it to the extent that I lost concentration on my driving. Maybe it’s not the fault of the guy that insulted me, peradventure somebody offended him too. That incident taught me how not to internalize other people’s frustration. It is very costly to bear the burden of hurts, anger, frustration and bitterness. What happens to you and around you does not matter, it is what happens inside you that matters.
This simple truth will free you, ‘ hurting people hurt others, frustrated people frustrate others and embittered people are bitter about everything and every one.’ This is the principle I use in relating with people. When someone is causing nuisance, and frustrating me and very bitter about what I do or who I am. I see that person as ‘hurting, bitter, or frustrated.’ So, whatever such person does, I don’t internalize it, I find healing for myself quickly by letting go. If I allow what such is doing to take hold of my thoughts, my action will be influenced and the cost will be grave.
The only way to break the circle is not to allow yourself to internalize the garbage of frustration, criticism, bitterness and offenses that people hurl at you. Learn to manage the jeers of people wisely.
Down the street of a country in west coast of Africa, there are aggressive people, angry people, people that life has frustrated, people that are bitter about government and Church. People that wonder why you are calm, cool and collected. People who want you to react. If you will not become a hurting person who will hurt someone else. Never internalize other people’s frustration and learn to give people humor treatment. It’s not them, its just that they are bottled up with frustration and caught up in a web of hurts.
Jesus taught this to his disciples;
“ But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them that despitefully use you, and persecute you.” Matthew 5:44
It is impossible to obey this scripture if you have the habit of internalizing offenses and other people’s frustration.
Today, do not react the way people expect and do not internalize offense. End the circle of hurts.
Remember, Hurting people, hurt others, embittered people are bitter with others and frustrated people frustrate others .
I am Pst Femi Ajayi